He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
