apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
