I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
