she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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