chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
