plz talk dirty to me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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