Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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