Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
