well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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