I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
