I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
