She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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