Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
