On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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