who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Shame is for Republicans.
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