I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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