That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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