And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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