This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
