All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
