my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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