The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
