Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
