I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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