her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
