No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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