Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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