I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
