Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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