she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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