i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
