Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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