I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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