First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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