I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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