guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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