I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
