Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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