No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize