are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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