So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
