I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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