...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize