First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
