i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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