I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
