I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize