Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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