I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
