It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize