he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
