It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
