I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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