I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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