Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize