If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize