i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
