I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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