why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
